M'masiku otsiriza ano a Okutobala, nkhani ya imfa imabuka pafupipafupi m'miyoyo ya ana. Kuyambira pachikondwerero cha Tsiku la Akufa m'mabanja ena kupita ku zochitika zamitundu yosiyanasiyana za Halowini, zoona zake n’zakuti ndi nthawi imene ana amatha kufunsa mafunso okhudza imfa, ndipo ndi bwino kukhala ndi maganizo ndi malo oti mumvetsere ndi kuyankha.

Ndinalemba mkati 2011 nkhani yomwe ndimachira apa, “Anyamata ndi atsikana ndi imfa”, kukumbukira makiyi ena othandiza. M'nkhani, lofalitsidwa ndi magaziniyo Ngodya yathu ya 0-6 - ACCENT yoperekedwa ku Maphunziro a Ubwana Wachichepere, madera atatu ofunika akufufuzidwa:

• Lingaliro la imfa pa mibadwo yosiyana (pakati pa ziro ndi zaka zisanu ndi chimodzi, Kodi mutu wa magaziniyi ndi wotani?).
• Malangizo ena ofunika kutsagana ndi ana asanamwalire.
• Kuwerenga kovomerezeka, ogawidwa m'magulu owerengera mabanja ndi akatswiri komanso nkhani zowerenga ndi ana.

Ndipo ndimayamba nkhaniyo ndikuyipanga ndi ndime iyi:

Kwa nthawi yaitali anthu ankaganiza kuti anyamata ndi atsikana samamva chisoni mpaka atakalamba. Komabe, kafukufuku m'munda wa attachment wasonyeza kuti amadutsa m'njira zamaliro kuyambira zaka zoyambirira, ngakhale kuti saziwonetsera mofanana ndi akuluakulu mpaka pambuyo pake. N’chifukwa chake m’pofunika kulankhula nawo za imfa (ndipo musawabise kuopa kuwaononga) zikachitika (kapena zidzachitika liti, pa nkhani ya matenda osachiritsika), kotero kuti amvetse 1) kuti munthuyo akuchokadi ndipo 2) kuti munthuyo sachoka mwakufuna kwake, komanso kuti athe kusanzika, popeza ngati malingalirowa sakumveka bwino ndipo palibe kutsanzikana, Matenda a pathological angawonekere. Ndipo ndicho chifukwa chake kuli kofunika kuti tidziŵe kumvetsera ndi kulabadira zimene zimachitika mkati mwawo imfa ikawonekera m’miyoyo yawo..
[mawu ngati: ROMEO BIEDMA, Francisco Javier (2011): "Anyamata ndi atsikana ndi imfa" mu Ngodya yathu ya 0-6 - ACCENT, 60, 17-21.]

Pitirizani kuwerenga nkhaniyi…

Ndikukhulupirira kuti kusinkhasinkhaku kukuthandizani kuti muthe kutsagana ndi ana omwe akuzungulirani pankhaniyi.. Imfa ndi gawo losapeŵeka la moyo, ndipo bwino timaphatikiza, mochuluka adzakhala ndi moyo, anyamata ndi atsikana komanso ife.

Ndikufunirani chikumbutso ndi chikumbumtima,

Xavier

Pulogalamu ya 4 September 2015 m'mbuyomu ndinali ndi mwayi wopezeka nawo koyamba kwa documentary “atsikana atsopano 24 maola”, (@girlsnew24h) motsogozedwa ndi kupangidwa ndi Mabel Lozano (@LozanoMabel). Kuyambira Kufunsira kwa Spirals kwa Ana, zomwe ndakhala membala woyambitsa kuyambira pamenepo 2009, takhala tikugwira ntchito yoletsa kwa zaka zambiri, kuzindikira ndi kuchitapo kanthu pa milandu ya za za ana, atsikana ndi achinyamata chifukwa chogwiriridwa. ndinalemba choncho izi blog positi momwe ndimafotokozera chifukwa chake ndimaliwona ngati documentary chodabwitsa, zosamasuka komanso zofunika.

WalkFree.org, gulu lomwe likulimbana ndi mitundu yonse yaukapolo wamakono, watulutsa chithunzichi kuti adziwitse anthu lero 23 September motsutsana ndi nkhanza zogonana.

Ndipo ndinatsala ndi kumva kukhala ndi zambiri zoti ndinene, mwanjira ina. lero, 23 ya September, ndi iye “Tsiku Lapadziko Lonse Loletsa Kugwiriridwa ndi Kugonana ndi Akazi, Atsikana ndi anyamata” (ndi, m'malo mwaukadaulo, “kugwiriridwa ndi kuzembetsa anthu”). Chotero lero likhoza kukhala tsiku labwino kuyankhanso kachiwiri..

Patatha milungu ingapo nditawona filimuyo ndinatsala ndi kumverera kwapadera. Ndinazindikira zotheka zonse zoperekedwa ndi Kuganizira ndi Yofatsa Kulankhulana kuthandiza anthu onse amene agulitsidwa chifukwa chogwiriridwa, kukhala akazi kapena amuna, atsikana kapena anyamata, achinyamata. Mwachionekere, kubwezera nkhanza zogonana ndizovuta kwambiri ndipo zimafuna chuma chambiri, komanso mkati mwazinthu zama psychosocial ndi chithandizo, muyenera kupezeka kwakukulu kwa zida. Zomwe ndikupereka apa ndi chiwonetsero chapadera cha zopereka za njira ziwirizi zomwe ndikudziwa komanso zomwe zimandithandizira kutsagana ndi anthu omwe adazunzidwa mwamtundu wina., makamaka nkhanza zogonana.

Pulogalamu ya Kuganizira, yomwe ndi njira yomvera mofatsa ku zomverera m'thupi, Ndi chida champhamvu kwambiri kuti munthu amene adagwiriridwapo azitha kuyambiranso ubale ndi thupi lake.. Thupi limenelo limene lavulazidwa kwambiri ndi kuchititsidwa manyazi lingakhale ndi njira zosonyezera ululu wake umene uli wovulaza, zonse mu mayankho mopupuluma ndi blockages awo komanso maubale kuti imakhazikitsa. Pulogalamu ya Kuganizira, ndi wake “pitani sitepe ndi sitepe, ku kamvekedwe kamene thupi likufuna kusonyeza”, amalola kutengeka mtima kupeza njira yabwino yodziwonetsera ndikuchira pang'onopang'ono. Nthawi yomweyo, munthuyo akhoza kuchira zinachitikira thupi “kuchokera mkati”, pang'onopang'ono kugonjetsa zotchinga ndi dissociations kuti thupi lake anamanga kuti apulumuke. Mutha kuwerenga zambiri za momwe ndikumvera Focusing, ndi kuwona zina mwa izo zolemba za Focusing zomwe ndasindikiza mu blog iyi.

Tsidya, ndi Yofatsa Kulankhulana Zikuwoneka kwa ine chida champhamvu kwambiri kuti munthu abwezeretse mawuwo. Munthu (mkazi kapena mwamuna, mtsikana kapena mnyamata), amene walandidwa ufulu wonena maganizo awo, kusankha pa moyo wanu, za thupi lake komanso za chikondi chake, angapeze chithandizo m'njira ziwiri. Mbali inayi, Nonviolent Communication imatha kutsagana nanu m'mene mumafotokozera nokha nkhani yanu, kukonzanso moyo wanu. Mwanjira iyi mutha kukonzekera duels zofunika, ndi kupanga zisankho mozindikira komanso mopatsa mphamvu. Tsidya, Kulankhulana Kwankhanza kumathandizanso kwambiri pankhani ya maubwenzi, ndipo zingathandize munthuyo kulankhulana moona mtima komanso motsimikiza, ndipo panthawi imodzimodziyo amalemekeza iyemwini komanso ndi anthu ena. Mwanjira imeneyi mutha kudzipatsa mphamvu kuti mulukenso, ndi kuzindikira, network ya chikondi chake. Mutha kuwonjezera chidziwitsochi powerenga za kumvetsetsa kwanga kwa Nonviolent Communication ndi ena Zithunzi za CNV kuchokera kubulogu iyi.

Ndikukumbukira kwanga kwa anthu onse omwe amavutika ndi kugwiriridwa, ndi kwa iwo amene amagwira ntchito kuti amasulidwe ndi machiritso.

Ndipo kupereka kwanga kumapitanso kutsagana ndi kukonza njirazi, kuchokera kutsagana ndi psychological ndi psychotherapy (ku Madrid, pakadali pano).

Ndi chiyembekezo ndi kuzindikira,

Xavier

Sabata yatha ya 12 ndi 13 September 2015 Ndakhala ndi mwayi ndi chisangalalo kuyanjananso ndi Bridget Belgrave. Monga ndanena kale mu positi iyi, ndinakumana Bridget Belgrave Kale Gina Lawrie, Formadoras mbiri yabwino ndi Center kwa Communication Nonviolent (Center kwa Communication NonViolent, CNVC), mu 2009 ndipo kuyambira nthawi imeneyo tinayamba kugwira ntchito monga gulu kumasulira NVC Dance apansi ku Spanish. Matembenuzidwe athunthu pomalizira pake anawona kuwala kwa tsiku 2014, ndi mavidiyo ena owonetsera omwe angawoneke cholowa ichi ndapanga kuti amasulidwe. The Association for Nonviolent Communication wakonza magawo ophunzitsira angapo ku Madrid, Bilbao ndi Barcelona mu Seputembala 2015, ndipo kwa ine zakhala zokhutiritsa kugwiranso ntchito monga gulu ndi Bridget Belgrave kuthandiza ndi kumasulira kuchokera ku Chingerezi kupita ku Spanish ndi mosemphanitsa..

Pokonzekera msonkhanowu ndakhala ndikuwunika zonse zomwe ndili nazo kuchokera ku NVC Dance apansi ndi cha Bridget makamaka. Ndi kuyamikira zipangizo zonse, aliyense ndi chuma chake, pali imodzi yomwe ndimakondabe. Pamenepo, Bridget anandipempha kuti ndifotokoze masomphenya anga panthawi ina mu msonkhano, ndipo zandichitikira kuti ndiwonjezere malingaliro anga mu blog iyi.

Zomwe zikufunsidwazi zili m'Chingerezi chokha ndipo zilibe mawu am'munsi kapena zomasulira zomwe zilipo, koma ndikhulupirira kuti izi sizikufooketsa inu kusayandikira kwa iye. “Gwirizanani ndi Ulemu” (“Gwirizanani ndi ulemu”, kumasuliridwa kwenikweni m’Chisipanishi) ndi ma multimedia omwe amalemba ntchito yomwe Bridget Belgrave adachita 2004 con 21 achinyamata ndi achinyamata omwe ali ndi zaka zapakati pa khumi ndi zisanu ndi ziwiri. Ntchitoyi idapangidwa ngati njira yophunzitsira anyamata ndi atsikana omwe ali ndi mavuto azachuma Yofatsa Kulankhulana, mkati mwa dongosolo la msonkhano wokhudza kukhazikitsidwa kwa kayimbidwe ka mizinda, kwa masabata khumi.

chifukwa chiyani ndikupangira? Nachi chidule cha zifukwa zanga:

• DVD ndi kanema, wa 25 mphindi yaitali. Sungani mphindi zofunika za polojekitiyi, zolembedwa ndi alangizi atatuwo komanso ndi achinyamata omwe, ndi kukonzedwa mogwirizana ndi iwo. Pamenepo, monga zanenedwa m’ndime ina, kuyang'ana magawo am'mbuyomu kunathandiza aliyense kuzindikira bwino zomwe amaphunzira komanso makhalidwe omwe anali ogwirizana ndi zosowa za aliyense. Ndi chikalata chojambula chomwe chimakulolani kuti muyike nkhope (ndi mawu) ku zochitika zosiyanasiyana, ndikukulolani kuti muganizire momwe mungagwiritsire ntchito pazinthu zina.

• Vidiyoyi ikugwirizana ndi mbali yachiwiri ya bukuli, “Wotsogolera Mafilimu” (“Mtsogoleli wowonera kanema”), momwe zonse zomwe zimachitika zimakambidwa motsatizana: chilichonse, mmene kulankhulana kopanda chiwawa kumaphunzitsidwa, nthawi zoyeserera, mikangano yeniyeni yomwe imabwera… Mwanjira imeneyi, cholinga cha ntchito iliyonse ndi zovuta zomwe zinabuka ndi momwe anachitira zimamveka bwino..

• Ndipo gawo lachitatu la bukhuli likusonkhanitsa Pulogalamu yonse, masabata khumi ndi machitidwe ake onse mwatsatanetsatane ndi zipangizo zonse masanjidwe kuwonjezera (m'Chingerezi), kuphatikiza pakuphatikiza CD-ROM yokhala ndi fayilo yazinthu zilizonse mu PDF yokonzeka kusindikizidwa. Mwachiwonekere kanemayo samaphatikizapo zochitika zonse, kotero ndizothandiza kwambiri kuwona momwe ntchito ikupitira patsogolo pochita, ndi kuthekera kobwerezanso.

• Choonadi chokhala ndi kumasulira kwa zomwe Malo ovina yokha ku castellano, ndi mutu wa “ulemu kwa ine, ulemu kwa inu”, mkati mwa phukusi lathunthu la Dance Floors.
• Ndipo the chenjezo a Bridget Belgrave kuti asayese pulojekiti yamtunduwu popanda, kumbali imodzi, maphunziro olimba komanso chidziwitso cha Nonviolent Communication., ndipo kumbali ina gulu la maphunziro lomwe lili ndi maziko ena a NVC komanso odziwa kugwira ntchito ndi achinyamata. Ndachitapo zina mwazochita zolimbitsa thupi ndi achinyamata komanso achinyamata omwe ali pachiwopsezo ku Madrid ndipo zidakhala bwino., ndiye ndikupezeka.

Powombetsa mkota, zinthu zofunika kuziwona, wapamwamba, werenganinso ndikuyika muzochita. Ndipo mungagule chiyani sitolo Intaneti, moyo Resources.

Ndipo ngati mukufuna kumveketsa bwino, Mutha kundiyimbira foni nambala yanga ndipo titha kukambirana chilichonse chomwe mungafune..

Ndikukhulupirira kuti posachedwa titha kukhala ndi ma projekiti ambiri amtunduwu pano!!

Xavier

Ndili ndi mwayi komanso wokhutira pothandizira pomasulira pa msonkhano wotsatira wa NVC Dance apansi zomwe zikuyembekezeka kupereka Bridget Belgrave ku Madrid, ndi bungwe la Association for Nonviolent Communication.

ndinakumana Bridget Belgrave Kale Gina Lawrie, Formadoras mbiri yabwino ndi Center kwa Communication Nonviolent (Center kwa Communication NonViolent, CNVC), mu 2009 ndipo kuyambira pamenepo tinayamba kugwira ntchito monga gulu lomasulira NVC Dance apansi ku Spanish. Matembenuzidwewo anawona kuwala kwa tsiku 2014, ndi mavidiyo ena owonetsera omwe angawoneke cholowa ichi ndapanga kuti amasulidwe. Tsopano a Association for Nonviolent Communication wakonza magawo ophunzitsira angapo ku Madrid, Bilbao ndi Barcelona mu Seputembala 2015, ndipo ndili wokondwa kugwiranso ntchito limodzi ndi Bridget Belgrave kuchirikiza kumasulira kuchokera ku Chingerezi kupita ku Chisipanishi ndi mosemphanitsa pamaphunziro ku Madrid., idzakhazikika pa mutuwo “Momwe mungalankhulire popanda kunena kapena kumva kudzudzula kapena kudzudzula (Dance of Autoempathy ndi Dance of the 13 masitepe a zokambirana)”.

masiku: Loweruka 12 September 2015 wa 10:00 a 14:00 ndi cha 16:00 a 20:00 ndi Sunday 13 September 2015 wa 10:00 a 14:00.

Malo: Sala Neuronilla
C/ Dokotala Cortezo 17, 2º
Madrid

Zambiri ndi mitengo (kuchotsera mwachizolowezi kwa mamembala a Association ndi kuchotsera kwapadera kwa zolembetsa zomwe zidamalizidwa mpaka 5 September 2015), zambiri komanso maphunziro a Bilbao ndi Barcelona patsamba la Association for Nonviolent Communication.

[kulowa koyamba kwa 2 September 2015, kusinthidwa ku 13 September 2015, tsiku lomaliza maphunziro.]

“malinga ndi zomwe ndakumana nazo, kuchita Zopanda Zachiwawa Kulankhulana ndi ana aang'ono ndi nkhani ya zomwe zikuchitika mkati mwanga-momwe ndimalankhula ndekha za zomwe zikuchitika ndi ine ndi mwana wanga-kuposa kukambirana. Komabe, Ndikufunanso kuyika m'mawu momwe ndikumvetsetsa zomwe zikuchitika kwa tonsefe, mwina gawo la nthawi, ngakhale ndikuganiza kuti mwana wanga samamva chilankhulo, chifukwa zimandithandiza kulumikizana ndi malingaliro ndi zosowa za onse awiri. Kuti, nthawi yomweyo, zimandithandiza kukhazika mtima pansi ndikupeza njira zomwe zingagwire ntchito kwa tonsefe. Ndikufunanso kuyankhula mokweza chifukwa ndikuganiza kuti iyi ndi njira yophunzirira chilankhulo komanso kumvetsetsa.” (Inbal Chestnut, Kukhala makolo kuchokera pansi pamtima, tsamba 38)

Pamene anthu omwe atenga nawo gawo pamisonkhano yanga yolankhulirana ndi anthu ali ndi ana aamuna kapena aakazi omwe ali paubwana wawo kapena unyamata wawo., kapena kugwira ntchito ndi mibadwo imeneyo, kawirikawiri amawuka “Inde, njira iyi yolankhulirana ndi yabwino kwambiri pakati pa akuluakulu, koma tiyeni tiwone momwe ndingamuwuzire mwana wanga/mchemwali/wophunzira/mwana wamkazi…”. ngati muli ndi nthawi, timaphunzira kulankhulana ndi anyamata ndi atsikana mu maphunziro, ngakhale nthawi zambiri ndimatha kuwonetsa malingaliro ndi zofufuza zomwe zingatheke. Tsopano tili ndi chida chatsopano, zimene zimalola kuti kulankhulana m’banja kupitirire kumlingo wina. Sikungothetsa kusamvana (kutinso), koma kupanga mtundu wodalirika kwambiri wamalumikizidwe, zakuya ndi zamphamvu kwambiri, zimene zimakonzekeretsa ana kukhala olimba m’moyo.

Ndi chidwi ichi Inbal Kashtan analemba buku lake Kukhala makolo kuchokera pansi pamtima. Gawanani mphatso zachifundo, kugwirizana ndi kusankha, lofalitsidwa chaka chatha m'Chisipanishi ndi Editorial Acanto. Inbal Chestnut, mphunzitsi wa Yofatsa Kulankhulana ndi mayi wa mwana, adatsogolera kwa zaka ntchito ya Nonviolent Communication m'banja, makamaka kuchokera kwa abambo ndi amayi kupita kwa ana awo aamuna ndi aakazi. Inbal anamwalira mu September 2014, koma cholowa chake chikhalapobe Zithunzi za BayNVC (bungwe lomwe limafalitsa Nonviolent Communication kuchokera ku San Francisco Bay Area, California, amene anali woyambitsa nawo) ndi m’zolemba zake (pambali pa bukhu ili, Mukhoza kuwerenga zina mwa nkhani zake zokhudza kulankhulana m'banja mu Chingerezi pa Zithunzi za BayNVC). Cholembera chabuloguchi chimafunanso kukuthokozani komanso kupereka ulemu ku moyo wake ndi ntchito yake.

Ndikupangira bukuli kwa iwo omwe amayandikira kwa nthawi yoyamba Yofatsa Kulankhulana ndi kwa iwo amene akufuna kuzamitsa machitidwe awo ndi ana. Ndikukhulupirira kuti mukuikonda.

Xavier

Mikangano yambiri itha kuthetsedwa m’njira yokhutiritsa ndi yopindulitsa kwa mbali zonse., Kupereka zofunikira ndi nthawi zimaperekedwa. Izi ndizochitika zanga komanso zaukadaulo zomwe ndaphunzira zaka zambiri, kuchita ndi kufalitsa Yofatsa Kulankhulana. ndizofunika kwambiri (osati zophweka) ndi kuti zofunikira zikukwaniritsidwa kuti chigamulochi chichitike. Kwa ine pali zinthu zingapo zofunika, zomwe tingazifotokoze mwachidule zotsatirazi:

• Njira yokwanira, zomwe zimalola onse omwe akukhudzidwa kuti azikhala otetezeka komanso olemekezedwa paufulu wawo.
• Akatswiri omwe ali ndi maphunziro odziwa kuyimira pakati komanso kumvetsera mozama komanso “kumasulira” za mauthenga kuti zikhale zosavuta kuti munthu aliyense amve.
• Dera lomwe limathandizira njira zobwezeretsa, kugawa nthawi, mipata, anthu ogwira ntchito, maphunziro…
• Anthu okonzeka kuthetsa mikangano m'njira yoti pamapeto pake onse azimva kuti akumva komanso kuti mbali zonse zikhutitsidwe ndi yankho.

Ichi ndichifukwa chake ndizosangalatsa kwa ine kugawana nawo zothandizira zomwe gulu lalikulu la anthu a m'dera la Son Gotleu ku Palma de Mallorca adachita. (Mallorca), popeza amasonkhanitsa momwe chilichonse mwazinthuzi chagwirira ntchito.

Muvidiyoyi mukuwona momwe adathandizira, ndi revitalization ya Institute for Coexistence and School Success (ndi Institute for Coexistence and School Success in Spanish) ya Boma la Zilumba za Balearic, kuchokera kwa aphunzitsi a malo ophunzirira a Early Childhood Education, Pulayimale ndi Sekondale, ophunzira amisinkhu yonse, mabanja, komanso Social Services, apolisi, yunivesite ndi magulu ena odziwika bwino. Mu mosaic wa mawu, timapeza lingaliro lazomwe zidachitika pakukhazikitsidwa kwa ukonde wachitetezo pamalo omwe ali pachiwopsezo, ndikuwona zina mwazotsatira.

Kuti muwone mwadongosolo, pali chofalitsidwa chimene chimasonkhanitsa mbali zofunika kwambiri. Adasinthidwa mu Catalan, Chisipanishi ndi Chingerezi mkati mwa projekiti yaku Europe yokhala ndi mutuwu, ndi Upangiri Timakulitsa kukhalirana ndi Makhalidwe Obwezeretsa / Kalozera Timathandizira kukhazikika ndi machitidwe obwezeretsa imapanga mbali zongopeka za Restorative Practices, amafunikira deta yochulukirapo ndipo amapereka zitsanzo zenizeni ndi malingaliro owerengera kuti awonjezere zambiri.

Ndipo kukulitsa Mabwalo Obwezeretsa, mchitidwe kuthetsa mikangano ndi chikhalidwe dimension anachokera Yofatsa Kulankhulana, mukhoza kuwerenga monograph chidwi Chilungamo ndi Zochita Zobwezeretsa. Mabwalo Obwezeretsa ndi kugwiritsa ntchito kwawo m'magawo osiyanasiyana, yolembedwa ndi Vicenç Rulan, mphunzitsi amene ndili wokondwa kumudziwa, zomwe zikuwoneka mu kanema ndi mu Bukhuli, ndi kuti iye ndi membala wa Association of Justice and Restorative Practices of the Balearics (ndi tsamba castellano ndi mu chikatalani, ndi zinthu zina zambiri). chiyambi chabwino, kuti tipitirize kuyang'ana mu chitsanzo ichi. Komanso mukhoza kuonera mavidiyo (m'Chingerezi) patsamba lovomerezeka la mlengi wa Restorative Circles, Dominic Barter, RestorativeCircles.org.

Inu amene mwandiphunzitsako kulankhulana ndi anthu ena mwawona kuti nthawi zambiri ndimatchula mutu uwu wa Makhalidwe Obwezeretsa.. Ndikukhulupirira kuti zinthuzi zikuwonetsa bwino zomwe mwamva kuchokera kwa ine ndipo ndikhulupilira kuti ziyambitsa luso lanu komanso malingaliro anu kuti mupitilize kupeza njira zozama komanso zozama zothetsera mikangano m'malo ophunzirira., ndi kudera lina lililonse.

Xavier

Kutengera mwayi kuti masika akuyamba lero, Kulumikiza More Longopeka ali nazo kale Twitter, ConexMasAutent, kumene zolemba zosiyanasiyana zidzawonekera zosindikizidwa, kuwonjezera pa malingaliro ndi zinthu zina zosangalatsa pa Kuganizira, kulankhulana pakati pa anthu potengera Yofatsa Kulankhulana, general chitukuko cha munthu ndi psychotherapy.

Ndikukhulupirira kuti muwapeza kukhala othandiza.

Xavier

Fotokozerani kwa aliyense zomwe psychotherapy, ndipo makamaka zomwe ndimamva ngati psychotherapy, nthawi zonse zimakhala zovuta. Ndipo pamene ife tiwonjezera pa izi zomwe ife tikufuna kuzifotokoza izo kwa ana, atsikana kapena achinyamata, zikuwoneka kuti ndizovuta kwambiri. ndi pa, psychotherapy ndi chinthu chachilengedwe: kubweza ndalama zomwe zidatayika (ndipo potero tenganso zingwe za moyo wako).

Monga anthu, timakonzekera kuti tikule bwino. Chinthu chachibadwa chikanakhala kuti tonsefe tidutse mu magawo osiyanasiyana a ubwana, za unyamata ndi ukalamba sitepe ndi sitepe. Zingakhale zachibadwa, ndiye, Kumbali imodzi, phatikizani zinthu zopatsa thanzi pamlingo wamalingaliro (corporal, maganizo, wanzeru, mwadongosolo, maganizo…) ndipo kumbali ina kugonjetsa zowawa ngakhale zovulaza ndi kuphunzira kwatsopano (za mtundu “Makhalidwe angawa sandithandizanso” ndi “Sindikufuna kuchita ndi munthu amene sandilemekezanso”). Komabe, nthawi zina zinthu zimalakwika (pang'ono kapena zambiri), ndipo ndikofunikira kuchitapo kanthu kuti mupite patsogolo ndi thanzi. Psychotherapy ndi njira yabwino yophatikizira ndikuchiritsa zomwe zidakhalapo, kubwezeretsa chinyengo cha moyo wathu.

Kanemayo “Garra anatseka (Doctor Fish)”, anapangidwa ndi gulu la makanema ojambula pamanja ophunzira ku Sheridan College pansi pa dzina la Frozen Mammoth Productions, mwa ena Timothy Chan ndi Eunice Hwang, ndipo ikhoza kukhala poyambira poyambira kusinkhasinkha.

Kanemayu akuwoneka kwa ine kukhala chitsanzo chabwino chofotokozera mfundo zingapo zofunika zomwe ndimakonda kumveketsa bwino kwa ana ndi achinyamata., komanso kwa akuluakulu omwe akuganiza zochita a psychotherapy:

1) Ntchito ya ife omwe timachita ngati othandizira imakhala ndi achire athanzi ndi amoyo Zomwe zili mkati mwa omwe tili nawo pokambirana. Tonsefe tili ndi chinthu chamtengo wapatali chifukwa chokhalapo, ngakhale nthawi zina zoopsa kwambiri zachitika, zakunja kapena zamkati.

2) Kuti tibwezeretse zomwe zili zathanzi komanso zamoyo, tatero osiyanasiyana media, oyenera kwa omwe tili nawo patsogolo (ndi pa msinkhu wake, zomwe amakonda, kalembedwe kake, chimene wakhala moyo…). timamvetsera nthawi zonse, nthawi zambiri timafunsa, ndipo nthawi zina timafuna zochita (kujambula, kapena kuchita zinthu zinazake, kapena yesani njira zosiyanasiyana). Cholinga chathu ndi kubwezera kwa munthuyo zomwe zili zathanzi komanso zamoyo, koma zoyera komanso zamphamvu kuti mutha kupitiriza ndi moyo wanu.

3) Ife tikudziwa zimenezo ndondomekoyi imatenga nthawi. Ngati titenga masabata, miyezi, zaka, kukhala ndi chinthu chowawa, tidzafunikanso nthawi yodzipatulira kuti tichiritse. Ndizowona kuti pangakhale zopezedwa zomwe zingasinthiretu zochitika zathu m'kamphindi, monga zikuwonekera muvidiyoyi, koma zimangochitika pamene takhala tikufufuza zamkati mwathu mokwanira. Ndipo zimatengeranso nthawi kuti izi zikhazikike padziko lonse lapansi m'miyoyo yathu..

4) Ndipo ife tikudziwa zimenezo ndondomekoyi imafuna khama. Zili ngati kuyeretsa chilonda chimene chadwala, zingabweretse ululu kwakanthawi, koma kusinthako kumawonekera pakapita nthawi. Khama limakhudza anthu omwe ali pafupi ndi munthu amene amabwera kudzakambirana. Pankhani ya ana, ndi achinyamata, kupsinjika maganizo kumakhudza banja, ndipo kuchokera ku masomphenya anga a psychotherapy ndimangolowerera ngati pali kudzipereka momveka bwino komanso kolimba pa mbali ya banja. (makamaka olera oyamba).

5) monga zimachitika muvidiyoyi, monga asing'anga timadziwa zochitika bwino chifukwa takhala ndi psychotherapy yathu ndi zovuta zathu. Zoonadi tili ndi maphunziro apadera, yotakata ndi yakuya, koma sitidziona ngati anthu apadera. Ndife anthu chabe amene ayang’ana zowawa zathu ndipo taphunzira kuyang’ana zowawa za anthu ena m’njira yomangirira ndi malingaliro atsopano..

Ndikukhulupirira kuti vidiyoyi ikuthandizani kuti mukhale ndi malingaliro omveka bwino pankhaniyi psychotherapy, makamaka mukafuna kuwafotokozera ana anu, ndi achinyamata.

Xavier

Mapewa “Kulankhulana Kopanda Zachiwawa ndi Kuyikira Kwambiri. Mvetserani zosowa ndi thupi lonse” mkati mwa IV Msonkhano wa Ogwiritsa Ntchito Zosagwirizana ndi Zachiwawa yolembedwa ndi Association for Nonviolent Communication.

masiku: cha friday 20 ku Sunday 22 February 2015.

Malo: Hostel ya San Servando
Cuesta de San Servando s/n
Toledo

Kuti muwerenge zambiri, pemphani kumveketsa ndi kulembetsa, kupita ku tsamba lodziwika bwino la zochitika.

Kuwerenga pang'ono za zoyambira zongopeka za msonkhanowu, mutha kuwona nkhani yanga “Yonseyi Kuganizira ndi Nonviolent Communication. Lingalirani zozama zakuya”, lomwe linasindikizidwa mu chiwerengero cha 2014 wa The Folio. Journal for Focusing and Experiential Therapy, magazini yovomerezeka yamaphunziro a The Focusing Institute (New York Focusing Institute).

[kulowa koyamba kwa 30 ya Januware ya 2015, kusinthidwa ku 22 February 2015, tsiku lomaliza la Msonkhano.]

Awa ndi masiku osangalatsa kwambiri pakati pa ife omwe timadziwa ndikuchita Yofatsa Kulankhulana. Marshall B. Rosenberg, mlengi wa yofatsa Kulankhulana, zakale zapita 7 February 2015 pa usinkhu wa 80 zaka (tinakondwerera kubadwa kwake miyezi ingapo yapitayo mu positi iyi), ndipo ife amene timamdziŵa iye ndi ife amene taphunzira chitsanzo chake mwachisawawa tikuchita zimene iye anatiphunzitsa: kukondwerera zochitika zomwe zakwaniritsa zosowa zathu ndikudzilola kuti timve chisoni zochitika zomwe zasiya zosowa zathu.

Ndinasangalala kuphunzira naye pamasiku asanu ndi anayi a International Intensive Training (International Intensive Training, IIT) ku Switzerland mu July ndi August 2008. Chithunzi chomwe ndili nacho ndi Marshall ndi mkazi wake Valentina chikuchokera ku mapangidwe amenewo., ndi chizindikiro chowonjezera cha kukhalapo kwa anyamata awiri osadziwika ndi mtsikana kumbuyo, zomwe zimagwirizana ndi chilimbikitso chimene Marshall anandipatsa m’ntchito yanga ndi ana, ndi achinyamata (werengani zambiri m'malo oyamba).

Masiku ano, momwe ndawerenga mauthenga osiyanasiyana ndi zikumbutso zomwe zachitika m'gulu la Nonviolent Communication, Ndapezanso mwayi wowerenganso zolemba zomwe ndidakumana nazo masiku amenewo ndili naye (komanso pagulu la ophunzitsa ena ndi ena onse otenga nawo mbali). Ndipo pambuyo pake idzakhala nthawi yowerenganso ntchito zake zonse, monga njira yotsitsimula ndi kulemekeza ntchito yawo.

Marshall Rosenberg adagwira ntchito kuti apange dziko laumunthu, kuzindikira mbali za moyo ndi kukula ngakhale muzochita zosamvetsetseka. Mawu ake enieni ndi “Chiwawa ndi chiwonetsero chomvetsa chisoni cha zosowa zosakwanira”, ndi njira yake, kulankhulana kopanda chiwawa, njira yoti athe kumvetsera ndikusinthanso mawu mpaka mayankho apezeka momwe mbali zonse zipambana.

Ndimaona kuti kugogomezera kwa Marshall pankhani ya kusintha kwa anthu kumakhala kopindulitsa kwambiri., sanafune kuti Kulankhulana Kwankhanza kutumikire kuti anthu azikhala odekha ndi moyo wawo. Ntchitoyi imayambira mkati mwa munthu aliyense, koma inu simungakhoze kukhala pamenepo, ndikofunikira kuti ifike kumagulu osiyanasiyana (zachuma, chikhalidwe, ndondomeko, zamaphunziro…) ndi kuwasintha powasintha kukhala anthu. Monga momwe iye mwini anatiuzira ku Switzerland: “Zimene timachita zimafanana ndi zimene munthu amaona khandalo likugwa pa mathithi n’kumupulumutsa., napenya wina, nampulumutsa, napenya wina, nampulumutsa… Panthawi ina zimakhala bwino kuti munthuyo adzifunse kuti ndani akuponya ana ndikukwera mathithi kuti apewe.”.

Kupatula ntchito yake yolembedwa (mabuku oposa khumi ndi awiri, mwa iwo Yofatsa Kulankhulana. chinenero cha moyo) ndi mavidiyo ndi zojambulidwa za ma workshop ake ndi nyimbo zake, Marshall anayambitsa Center for Nonviolent Communication (Center kwa Communication NonViolent), ndi mbiri ya zaka zambiri za ntchito, ndipo izi zakhala zikugwira ntchito popanda iye kwa zaka zingapo zapitazi. Zimasiyanso mazana a ophunzitsidwa ovomerezeka kuti chitsanzo chake chipitirize kufalikira ndi kukhulupirika ndi zikwi makumi a akatswiri omwe amayesa kuwunikira mikangano yathu ya tsiku ndi tsiku.. Ndi chinachake kukondwerera.

Nthawi yomweyo, imfa yake imasiya malo opanda kanthu. Kudziwa kuti wamwalira kunyumba kwake limodzi ndi mkazi wake Valentina ndi ana awo ndi chitonthozo chaching'ono.. Tikudziwa kuti sitidzamuwonanso akuyimira mikangano yatsopano, kuti sitidzamva nyimbo yatsopano, kuti sadzalemba mabuku atsopano. Ndipo izi zisanachitike, zimangotsala kuvomereza ndi chifundo zowawa ndi chisoni chomwe chikuwonekera.

Pokhapokha pophatikiza zochitika zonse tingathe kupita patsogolo mokwanira, kuphatikiza zomwe zidalandiridwa kuchokera kwa Marshall ndikuyang'ana, mphindi ndi mphindi, momwe mungasinthire m'njira yolemeretsa kwa aliyense.

Mu chikondwerero ndi maliro,

Xavier