Kube yizinsuku ezimbalwa ezihamba phambili phakathi kwethu esiwaziyo futhi esiwenza Ukuxhumana benamathele. UMarshall B. Rosenberg, umdali we-Nonviolent Communication, okwedlule kudlulile 7 February 2015 eminyakeni yobudala 80 iminyaka (sigubhe usuku lwakhe lokuzalwa ezinyangeni ezimbalwa ezedlule kule post), futhi thina ebesimazi futhi ngokujwayelekile nalabo abafunde imodeli yakhe benza into asifundisa yona: sigubhe izehlakalo ezihlangabezane nezidingo zethu futhi zisivumele ukuthi sililele izehlakalo ezishiye izidingo zethu zingafezeki.

Ngaba nenjabulo yokuqeqeshwa naye phakathi nezinsuku eziyisishiyagalolunye Zokuqeqeshwa Okujulile Kwamazwe Ngamazwe (Ukuqeqeshwa Okujulile Kwamazwe Ngamazwe, IIT) Switzerland ngoJulayi no-August 2008. Kusukela kulokho kwakheka isithombe enginaso noMarshall nomkakhe uValentina, ngomfanekiso ongeziwe wokuba khona kwabafana ababili abangabonakali nentombazane ngemuva, okuhlobene nesikhuthazo uMarshall anginikeza sona emsebenzini wami nezingane, futhi intsha (funda imininingwane eyengeziwe ekungeneni kokuqala).

Ngalezi zinsuku, lapho ngifunde khona imilayezo ehlukene kanye nezikhumbuzo ezenzeke emphakathini wezokuXhumana Okungenalo Udlame., Ngiphinde ngathatha ithuba lokuphinda ngifunde amanothi engangihlala naye ngalezo zinsuku (kanye nenkampani yabanye abaqeqeshi kanye nabanye ababambiqhaza). Futhi kamuva kuyoba yisikhathi sokufunda kabusha yonke imisebenzi yakhe, njengendlela yokuvuselela nokuhlonipha umsebenzi wabo.

UMarshall Rosenberg wasebenzela ukudala umhlaba onobuntu, ukuthola izici zokuphila nokukhula ngisho nasezenzweni ezingaqondakali kakhulu. Inkulumo yakhe eyisisekelo ithi “Udlame luwukubonakaliswa okudabukisayo kwezidingo ezingafezeki”, nendlela yakhe, Ukuxhumana Okungenalo Udlame, indlela yokulalela nokwenza kabusha izinkulumo kuze kutholakale izixazululo lapho zonke izinhlangothi ziwina khona.

Ukugcizelela kukaMarshall izinguquko kwezenhlalo kuyangicebisa ngokukhethekile., wayengafuni Ukukhulumisana Okungenalo Ubudlova ukusiza abantu bahlale bezolile ngempilo yabo. Umsebenzi uqala ngaphakathi komuntu ngamunye, kodwa ayikwazi ukuhlala lapho, kufanele ifinyelele ezakhiweni ezahlukene (ezomnotho, social, ezombusazwe, ezemfundo…) futhi uziguqule ngokuzenza zibe ngumuntu. Njengoba yena ngokwakhe esitshela eSwitzerland: “Isenzo sethu sifana nesomuntu obona ingane iwe empophomeni ayisindise, futhi ubone omunye futhi umsindise, futhi ubone omunye futhi umsindise… Kwesinye isikhathi kuzoba lula kulowo muntu ukuthi acabangele ukuthi ngubani ojikijela izingane futhi agibele impophoma ukuze ayigweme.”.

Ngaphandle komsebenzi wakhe obhaliwe (engaphezu kweshumi izincwadi, phakathi kwazo Ukuxhumana benamathele. Ukuphila ulimi) namavidiyo nokuqoshwa workshop yabo nezingoma zawo, Amaqabunga Marshall zazakha Isikhungo Sokuxhumana Okungenalo Udlame (Center for Communication benamathele), ngomlando wamashumi eminyaka wokusebenza, nokuthi ibisebenza ngaphandle kwakhe kule minyaka edlule. Ubuye ashiye amakhulu abaqeqeshi abaqinisekisiwe ukuze imodeli yakhe iqhubeke isakazwa ngokwethembeka kanye namashumi ezinkulungwane zabasebenzi abazama ukukhanyisa izingxabano zethu zansuku zonke.. Kuyinto yokugubha.

Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ukudlula kwakhe kushiya isikhala. Ukwazi ukuthi ushone emzini wakhe ephelezelwa umkakhe uValentina nezingane zabo kuyinduduzo encane. Siyazi ukuthi ngeke sisakubona umele izimo zokungqubuzana ezintsha, ukuthi ngeke sizwe ingoma entsha, lokho ngeke kubhale izincwadi ezintsha. Futhi ngaphambi kwalokho, kusele kuphela ukwamukela ngozwela ubuhlungu nokudabuka okuvelayo.

Ngokuhlanganisa kuphela ukuzizwisa okuphelele lapho singaqhubekela khona ngokugcwele, ukuhlanganisa lokho okwamukelwe kuMarshall nokufuna, umzuzu nomzuzu, ungayibuyekeza kanjani ngendlela enothisa wonke umuntu.

Emkhosini nasekulileni,

Javier