Information about the Roundtable on Crossing Focusing and Nonviolent Communication (NVC) organized by The International Focusing Institute through its Membership Committee. As it is a past event the information is no longer available on TIFI’s website and has been edited accordingly.

Text in Spanish – Japanese – Click here to read in English

Focusing International Conference in Cambridge (United Kingdom) in July 2016 continues to bear fruit.

Today I have the honor to present the translation of my article “Combining Focusing and Nonviolent Communication. Reflecting deeper implications for” (appeared in 2014 in The Folio. A Journal for Focusing and Experiential Therapy) Japanese, with the suggestive title “Focusing and non-violent communication intersection of - towards the deeper implications tell-back -“.

Con Madoka Kawahara (Kawahara circle).

Cambridge had the pleasure to meet Madoka Kawahara (Kawahara circle), Focusing training psychotherapist who had initiated the translation of the article a while back, already Mako Hikasa (Mako Hikasa), Focusing renowned Coordinator, which joined the project in its final phase translation. Our discussions from that meeting made the project proceed, and now there is this careful translation is available on the website Focusing Japanese Association (Japan Focusing Association), and I reproduce here with his permission.

From here I want to express my deep appreciation for their efforts and dedication (there have been many emails back and forth to clarify concepts and terms) so you can know this aspect of Focusing among many practitioners and professionals Focusing Japan.

In deep appreciation,

Xavier

Japanese

Cambridge 27th International Focusing Conference, which was held in (the UK)It is、It has brought a more abundant achievements。

now、I、paper"Intersection of the focusing and the non-violent communication - deeper implications toward tell-back -"（"Journal for focusing and experiencing therapy"The Folio. A Journal for Focusing and Experiential TherapyVol. 25, No. 1、2014I am honored to be posted on the year) has been translated into Japanese。

Madoka Kawahara

In Cambridge、Mr. counselor Madoka Kawahara undergoing focusing training Ya、There was a happy encounter with renowned certification focusing Coordinator Mako Hikasa。Because、And Ms. Madoka Kawahara is already working on this translation、And in the final stage of the project、Mako HikasaIt has been added。After the International Conference、Keep in touch us towards the translation completed、Then now、The exact Japanese translation has been completed。this is、Japan focusing association's Web siteYou can read in。Than the association、We received the authorization of the link posted。

To me is a certain enthusiasm and their interest effort、Deeply Thank you。In order to clarify the concepts and nuances、It was frequently exchanged e-mail。Many of certified Focusing trainers and practitioners of Japan、Because becomes an opportunity to get to know this aspect of focusing。

Gratitude

Javier

English text

The International Focusing Conference 2016 in Cambridge (United Kingdom) keeps bringing more fruits.

Now I have the honor of presenting my article “Crossing Focusing and Nonviolent Communication: Reflecting for Deeper Implications”, that appeared in The Folio. A Journal for Focusing and Experiential Therapy in 2014, translated into Japanese with the title “Focusing and non-violent communication intersection of - towards the deeper implications tell-back -“.

With Madoka Kawahara (Kawahara circle).

In Cambridge I had the pleasure of meeting Madoka Kawahara (Kawahara circle), a psychotherapist trained in Focusing who had already started the translation some time ago, and Mako Hikasa (Mako Hikasa), a renowned Focusing Coordinator that joined the project in its final stages. The conversations we had after that encounter have brought the work to its completion, and now we have this precise translation, that is available on the website of the Japan Focusing Association (Japan Focusing Association), reproduced here with permission.

I want to express my profound gratitude for their interest and hard work –there have been lots of e-mails to clarify concepts and nuances– to make possible that this aspect of Focusing might be known among the numerous Focusing professionals and practitioners in Japan.

In gratitude,

Xavier

ANSEMBOURG, Thomas. Stop being nice; I truly! illustrated edition. Messenger, 2015.

Thomas Ansembourg It is an international reference in Nonviolent Communication (and a personal reference for me, since my training in the CNV started with him and his accompanying delved). Now he shares his deep understanding of human nature and compassionate view of conflicts with a fully illustrated version (almost comic format) his first book, Stop being nice; I truly!, a bestseller and an inexhaustible resource for reflection.

In this booklet, with illustrations Alexis Nouailhat, so simple and suggestive, Thomas d'Ansembourg his personal history (Chapter 1, “Who is this guy?”), analyzes with humor and clearly some of the basic problems we face as a people (Chapter 2, “Want to get out of the traps?”) and proposes “Some notions of Nonviolent Communication” (Chapter 3) to begin transforming our consciousness (and thereby transform our relationships and our lives), and closes with a successful “conclusions”.

With humor and apparent lightness, This book helps us pay attention to our life, with greater presence and processing capacity. It is a joy that it has released Editorial Mensajero, and it's possible see a sample of the index and some illustrations on their website.

Hope you enjoy it as much as the IM.

Xavier

One more year, It is a joy and an honor for me to return to participate in the V Meeting of Nonviolent Communication Practitioners organized by the Association for Nonviolent Communication, facilitating my workshop this year “Nonviolent Communication and Focusing. The bodily dimension of needs”.

Full event dates: Friday 11 to Sunday 13 March 2016.

Place: Hostel San Servando
Cuesta de San Servando s / n
Toledo

To read the full information, request clarification and register, go to specific web page of the event.

To learn a little about the theoretical bases of what we are going to work on, since Marshall Rosenberg himself was part of the process of Focusing in some listening sessions and recommended it, You can consult my article “Combining Focusing and Nonviolent Communication. Reflecting deeper implications for”, published in the issue of 2014 of The Folio. A Journal for Focusing and Experiential Therapy, the official academic journal The Focusing Institute (Focusing Institute of New York).

I hope we can see each other there.

Xavier

[Original entry 1 March 2016, actualizada a 13 March 2016, event end date].

I love to recommend works that are originally targeted to the general public for training in disciplines such intimate and profound as the Focusing and the Nonviolent Communication. This trilogy falls into that category.

“Human: The movie” It is a documentary trilogy as shows fragments of interviews with more than two thousand people (although in the final version of a selection of some two hundred people it appears) talking about all the things that make us “humans”. People of all ages (although very few children appear, and adolescents in proportion, and all of them very hard stories), of all kinds, from all continents. It is a sobering experience, very direct: no questions from interviewers, without dubbing (all interventions appear with subtitles, so you can hear the original voice), no source data of each person (In some cases only mentioned his country, but in most cases you can only intuit their continent, unless the subtitles are activated), bottomless (All interviews were made with the same dark background, although sometimes surrounding sounds are introduced). With people who listen and look at the camera while others speak, and nothing more. And occasionally, aerial views of breathtaking landscapes, natural landscapes and human landscapes, with world music (that are especially evocative when using without relation to the image: an African landscape with distinctly Asian music, for example, again underlining the universality of human).

Photographer and filmmaker Yann Arthus-Bertrand, He is known for his long career defending ecological and social causes, It has embarked on this magnificent trilogy, It intended as a further contribution to a portrait of a human being in its various dimensions. With its lights, and also with major shadows. The look of the film encompasses everything: from the best to the worst, freeing and enslaving, what it gives meaning and absurdities of modern life…

some thematic structure is perceived, which may be mentioned by way of guidance:

“Human: The movie (volume 1)”: love (in its various forms), work and poverty. Intense from the first minute, a reflection on these three elements of human life.

“Human: The movie (volume 2)”: war, homophobia, death and difficulties in the family. More clearly positioned in favor of human dignity in all situations, although it is difficult to recognize.

“Human: The movie (volume 3)”: the happiness, The education, disability, the relationship with the land, The meaning of life, justice and social action. A look at specific aspects that require our position (better for humanity, lets understand the message selection).

It is a work that deserves to be seen calmly, fragments of twenty or thirty minutes, to digest depth. It raises many questions and invites us to respond from the inside. you can also see extensive fragments of some of the people, which can be selected by their subject or message, and they include people who sometimes fail to appear in the film.

And those who see every film we can choose: ¿We classify each person according to the snippet of it? Or will we be able to hear opening, trying to see it with your feelings and your needs, with the feelings that must have in your life to talk like, with his humanity and his mystery?

I invite you to see movies and you to discover a little more of our shared humanity, and the human of each particular.

Xavier

This weekend I had the honor of participating in the I Congress on Emotional Education Navarra, organized by Formed parents. It was a conference organized with great interest, with great care and a good dose of courage. My presentation was specifically about “Affective education that protects against sexual abuse”, one of the themes that work from Spiral Consulting Children, of which I am a founding member. But in the end there was a panel discussion with questions for all speakers, we were sharing with the moderation of Sonsoles Echevarren, journalist from Diario de Navarra. It was a very interesting time, and although the questions were addressed to each speaker, at the end there were many in which we participate several more. In this context a very interesting question arose, “How do you listen to a child who refuses to leave the park?”. interesting and valuable answers were given, and I brought my contribution: “Listening yes’ in the 'no'”.

Rescue in this blog because my article 'Listen to “yes” in the “no”‘, which it was published in the number 52 (January 2011) Magazine Our corner of 0-6, published by ACCENT (He continues no longer releasing new numbers, although still available). This article development more broadly what I argued then: When a person (and a boy or girl is also a person) dice “no”, He is saying “yes” many things, and if we listen to the entire message, we can create a deeper connection and find a satisfactory solution for all parties. The article begins:

mother, two and a half years, She does not want her coat to go outside. Joseph, four years, You do not want to lose the swing to go home. Irene, of five years, He does not want to go to sleep. Why not do those things that as adults we seem perfectly reasonable?

And what do we do next? ¿We yield and do what they want? Then we feel bad because we are not working to their education, and also it gives us the feeling of leaving aside what we as people also want. Would you force them to do what we want? Then we have guaranteed discussion and bad environment for a long time, long term and we are teaching them that in the end the important thing is to have power or strength, and that dialogue only serves when it is weak. In my personal and professional experience there is a third way, based on a deeper communication in each of these situations. And one of the skills that we developed in the workshops I facilitate is the ability to listen to what they say “yes” our children when they say “no”.

Download the full article “listen to the “yes” in the “no”‘

Hope you find it interesting.

Xavier

4 September 2015 past I had the honor of attending the premiere of the documentary “new girls 24 hours”, (@girlsnew24h) directed and co-produced by Mabel Lozano (@LozanoMabel). From Spiral Consulting Children, of which I have been a founding member since 2009, we have been working on prevention for years, detection and intervention in cases of treats children's, girls and adolescents for the purpose of sexual exploitation. so i wrote this blog in which I explain why I consider it to be a documentary shocking, uncomfortable and essential.

WalkFree.org, entity that fights against all types of modern slavery, has released this image to raise awareness today 23 September against sexual exploitation.

And I was left with the feeling of having more to say, somehow. Today, 23 of September, is he “International Day Against Sexual Exploitation and Trafficking in Women, Girls and boys” (The, rather technically, “against sexual exploitation and human trafficking”). So today may be a good day to make a second comment..

The weeks after seeing the documentary I was left with the special feeling. I became aware of all the possibilities offered by the Focusing and the Nonviolent Communication to help all people who have been trafficked for sexual exploitation, be women or men, girls or boys, the teenagers. Evidently, reparation for sexual exploitation is very complex and requires extensive social resources, and within psychosocial resources and therapy, you need a large availability of tools. What I offer here is a specific reflection of the contributions of these two processes that I know and that serve me to accompany people who have suffered some type of violence, especially sexual violence.

Focusing, which is a process of gentle listening to bodily felt sensations, It is a very powerful tool so that the person who has suffered sexual exploitation can recompose the relationship with their body. That body that has suffered so much damage and humiliation may have ways of expressing its pain that are harmful, both in the impulsive responses and in their blockages as well as in the relationships that it establishes. Focusing, with his “go step by step, to the rhythm that the body wants to show”, allows emotions to find a healthier way of expressing themselves and to gradually heal. At the same time, the person can recover their experience of the body “from inside”, little by little overcoming the barriers and dissociations that his body built in order to survive. You can read more about how I understand Focusing, and seeing some of the entries about Focusing that I have published in this blog.

On the other hand, the Nonviolent Communication It seems to me an enormously powerful tool for the person to recover the word. Person (woman or man, girl or boy), who has been denied the right to assert their opinion, to decide on your life, about his body and about his affectivity, can find support in two processes. On the one hand, Nonviolent Communication can accompany you in the way you narrate your story to yourself, to reformulate your life. This way you can prepare the necessary duels, and making decisions in a conscious and empowered way. On the other hand, Nonviolent Communication is also very useful in the field of relationships, and can help the person to communicate more authentically and assertively, and at the same time more respectful with herself and with other people. In this way you can empower yourself to reweave, with awareness, his network of affections. You can expand this information by reading about my understanding of Nonviolent Communication and some entries about CNV from this blog.

My memory goes to all the people who suffer sexual exploitation, and to those who work for their liberation and healing.

And my offer also goes to accompany in the repair of these processes, from the psychological accompaniment and the psychotherapy (en Madrid, for now).

With hope and awareness,

Xavier

Last weekend 12 and 13 September 2015 I have had the privilege and pleasure of working again Bridget Belgrave. As I mentioned in this post, I met Bridget Belgrave already Gina Lawrie, Certified trainers for the Center for Nonviolent Communication (Center for NonViolent Communication, CNVC), in 2009 and from that moment we began to work together to translate NVC Dance Floors the Castilian. Completed translations finally saw the light in 2014, with some illustrative videos that can be viewed I made this entry for release. Association for Nonviolent Communication It has organized a series of training courses in Madrid, Bilbao and Barcelona during September 2015, and for me it has been a pleasure to work again with Bridget Belgrave support team with the translation from English into Castilian and vice versa.

In preparing the workshop I have spent time reviewing all the materials I have the NVC Dance Floors and of Bridget en particular. And valuing all materials, each with its wealth, there is one that is still my favorite. In fact, Bridget invited me to share my vision at some point of the workshop, and I happened also to extend my recommendation in this blog.

The material in question is only in English and not have subtitles or translations available, but I hope that does not discourage approach him. “Connect with Respect” (“Connect on respect”, literally translated into Castilian) is a multimedia material documenting a project that made Bridget Belgrave 2004 with 21 adolescents and young adults with an average age of seventeen. The project was proposed as an intervention to train boys and girls in situations of social difficulty Nonviolent Communication, within the framework of a workshop building urban rhythms, for ten weeks.

Why recommend? Here is a summary of my reasons:

• The DVD with the film, of 25 minute. Collect the key moments of the project, recorded therefore the three trainers as by young people themselves, and edited in collaboration with them. In fact, as told in a passage, the fact of viewing previous sessions helped them all become more aware of their own learning and getting behaviors that would be well suited to the needs of everyone. It is a graph document lets put faces (and sounds) to different situations, and lets figure out how to apply it in other contexts.

• The video is supplemented with the second part of the book, “Guide to the Film” (“Guide for the film”), on which sequence by sequence discussed everything that happens: each situation, how teaches Nonviolent Communication, Practice times, the real conflicts that arise… This will better understand the intent of each activity and the difficulties encountered and how they were addressed.

• And the third part of the book contains the complete program, ten weeks with all their detailed exercises and all materials also typeset (English), as well as incorporating a CD-ROM with the file of each material in PDF ready to print. Obviously the video does not collect all the exercises, so it is very useful to see the progression activity to activity, with the ability to replicate.

• The availability of a translation of what the Dance floor itself to Castilian, with title “Respect for Me, Respect for You”, within the complete package Dance Floors.
• And the caveat Bridget Belgrave not attempt a project of this type without having one hand a strong background and experience in Nonviolent Communication, and secondly an educational team with some basis of CNV and experienced in working with adolescents. I made some of these exercises with adolescents and youth at risk in Madrid and went well, so I'm available.

In summary, a material worth seeing, read, reread and implement. And you can buy in its online store, Life Resources.

And if you want more clarification, You can call me on my phone contact and discuss what you want.

I hope we can soon have more projects of this style here!

Xavier

I have the honor and pleasure to support translating during the next workshop of the NVC Dance Floors which it is intended to impart Bridget Belgrave en Madrid, with organization Association for Nonviolent Communication.

I met Bridget Belgrave already Gina Lawrie, Certified trainers for the Center for Nonviolent Communication (Center for NonViolent Communication, CNVC), in 2009 and thereafter we begin to work together to translate NVC Dance Floors the Castilian. Translations finally saw the light 2014, with some illustrative videos that can be viewed I made this entry for release. now Association for Nonviolent Communication It has organized a series of training courses in Madrid, Bilbao and Barcelona during September 2015, and I have the pleasure to work again with Bridget Belgrave team supporting the translation from English into Castilian and vice versa in the formation of Madrid, which will focus on the topic “Talking without express or hear blame or criticism (Dance Dance Autoempatía and the 13 Steps for dialogue)”.

Dates: sábado 12 September 2015 of 10:00 a 14:00 and of 16:00 a 20:00 and Sunday 13 September 2015 of 10:00 a 14:00.

Place: Neuronilla room
C/ Doctor Cortezo 17, 2º
Madrid

More information Prices (usual for people members of the Association and special discount registration discount until completed 5 September 2015), contact details and formations of Bilbao and Barcelona on the website of the Association for Nonviolent Communication.

[Original entry 2 September 2015, actualizada a 13 September 2015, date of completion of training.]

“According to my experience, the practice of Nonviolent Communication with young children is more a matter of what happens inside me-that way I talk to myself about what is happening with me and my son to negotiate. However, I also want to express in words my understanding of what is happening for both, at least part of the time, even if I think my child does not understand the language, because it helps me connect with the feelings and needs of both. That, at the same time, helps me calm down and find strategies that do work for both. I also want to speak aloud because I think this is the way to acquire language and emotional literacy.” (Inbal Kashtan, Parenting from the heart, page 38)

When people involved in my interpersonal communication workshops have sons or daughters who are in childhood or adolescence, or work with those ages, typically they arise “Yes, This way of communicating is very well among adults, but to see how I tell my son / niece / student / daughter…”. If time, practice communicating with children in training, but often I can only indicate possible suggestions and explorations. We now have a new resource, that lets you family communication to another level. This is not only to resolve conflicts (that also), but to create a more authentic connection type, deeper and more powerful, that prepares children for more resiliently life.

With this sensitivity Inbal Kashtan wrote his book Parenting from the heart. Share the gift of compassion, connection and choice, published last year in Castilian by Editorial Acanto. Inbal Kashtan, forming Nonviolent Communication and mother of a child, he led for years the work of Nonviolent Communication within the family, especially from parents to their children. Inbal died in September 2014, but his legacy continues baynvc (an organization that disseminates Nonviolent Communication from San Francisco Bay, California, of which he co-founded) and his writings (in addition to this book, You can read some of his articles about family communication in English baynvc). This blog also wants to be an acknowledgment and a tribute to his life and work.

I recommend this book both for those who come for the first time to Nonviolent Communication and for those who want to deepen their practice with children. Hope you enjoy the.

Xavier